Dr.Raji Patil

Ever find your friend /relative/ colleague in distress, the first thing that you say to comfort them is " I completely understand how you feel." This is a phrase, used repeatedly over and over again. But do you really understand it. You may connect with the person, with the situation but you would never be able to mimic, the emotional turmoil. Expressing sympathy, is one aspect and making a mockery out of it in an invisible manner, is another. Every one choses to emote in a different way. The person going through the rough patch, only knows the intensity of it. You being a third person, would never be able to gauge it. '' I understand what you are going through"...This statement makes you, the hero, and people who are closely associated with the person in distress, villians. This in itself is adding fuel to fire, cos thats when comparisons begin.
How can a happily married couple, understand what a couple going through divorce experiences? How can someone who splurges money, know what it is to live from a hand to mouth existence? Expressing condolences at a funeral....how would you know how important the person who passed away, meant to the family. Again when two people in a identical situation get talking about, nothing positive ever comes out of that. You become more sure that....Life is a drag

When you share this with another individual, they expect a solution out of you for the same. That when you put yourself in an awkward position. We never give an advice, that we are 100% sure about. Your advice, when given in the heat of the moment, could have unseen repercussions.
I have witnessed married women, giving advice to each other on marital and inlaw issues. As a result of that, when things go out of control, they just put their hands up, and say "I just said what I felt...following it was completely her decision."
All you need to restrict yourself to is, just listen. Sometimes thats all what people need...somebody who would just listen to them. My personal opinion is, man's problems are all self created, because we like to live with complications. If you know how to create them ,you definitely know how to get out of them. Its a matter of self-realization.
So next time please don't quote it , cos you & your inner conscience know that you didn't mean it...cos the moment you get back to the cococon of your own life you forget about them.